Weekly Photo Challenge: Up

Here is another weekly photo challenge. I’ve begun trying to turn the weekly photo challenge into a daily one for me. It forces me to go back through my photos and look at them with a more critical eye, seeing if there is anything i can do to improve on them or see them from a perspective as if they were not my shots. I tend to be my own worst critic so i pass lots of my own work off unless I really really like it. With these photo challenges I get to go back through my stuff to see if anything relates to the weekly topic and deciding if it is actually worth the effort to post.  So with no further ramblings, here you go.

Giant Door! With this shot it’s difficult to see the true size of the pillars and the door. I added the shot below it where you can see me standing in front of it to give you an idea of the immense size of the small piece of the building this shot shows. I barley fill in the bottom square of the door!

Panthéon in Paris

me and the Panthéon in Paris


Weekly Photo Challenge: Up

This was taken Christmas Day 2009 inside the church of Notre Dame. I was standing behind the alter. This image doesnt even begin to show the size of the place but I loved the angle of the shot.

Church of Notre Dame

Weekly Photo Challenge: Up

This one was fun. In Paris, Montmartre, on the steps in front of Sacré-Cœur this man was performing with his soccer ball and a pen. He began by dancing around on the ground doing fun spins and kicks, then jumped up on the base of the lamp post doing tricks in a parody of a pole dancer then suddenly began climbing the lamp post while still holding the soccer ball balanced on a pen in his mouth! He played for a little while on top of the lamp post, showing off his mad muscle balancing skills. This shot was his “bow”, ending his performance. By then end, there was an enormous crowd blocking foot and car traffic around the front of the church. I couldn’t leave with out throwing him a tip, I can only imagine how much he made in the 15 minutes he preformed that day.

pole climber


re·in·car·na·tion, noun:

1. the belief that the soul, upon death of the body, comes back to earth in another body or form.
2.rebirth of the soul in a new body.
3.a new incarnation  or embodiment, as of a person.

There are a couple topics I will not discuss on my blog, religion and politics. Well, maybe if i come across something that tics me off enough that i need to rant about it. Otherwise those  topics are best left for a good debate with close friends. However something has been tickling me recently: reincarnation. I know this is an iffy religious topic but its far off enough the straight and narrow, that I can safely do a little opinionated writing about it. If however my opinion does offend anyone, i apologize before hand because if was never my intent. I believe everyone has a right to their own views and opinions and should show the same respect to others.

Why the topic of reincarnation then? It seems to be coming up a lot lately in my life. With loved ones, with books i’ve read, on TV shows that i’ve watched. Maybe I’ve just tuned into it, noticing it more often then i used to. I dont know. Yet it is there lurking around in the shadows brewing in my mind.

Do i believe in it? No. Do i want to? Yes. The idea is romantic really. Knowing our souls continue on and live life after life eternally experiencing whatever the universe has to offer. That you, in whatever form, continues and you will not really ever be forgotten.

I was visiting with my sister, who is very spiritual and has countless beliefs in gods, continuous energy and things like reincarnation. Now i do not mock her belief system, in some ways i’m envious in her abandon to spirituality, I’m happy that she finds solace in it. She asked if i was drawn to certain eras and I said yes. She then described that people who are strongly drawn to certain periods of time have lived them in previous lives. The idea intrigued me on many levels. One of which was because i was oddly drawn to a few eras. Now you have to understand that I’ve never been the person to have favorite things or have strong attractions to things. I never listened to the same song over and over for days on end, I dont watch movies more then twice. therefore having a strong draw to these specific eras in all things was curious. If i believed in reincarnation I think i would easily believe that, yes of course i lived during these times. Unfortunately I think i just fantasize about the periods and wish I could experience the knowledge and beauty they left in history.

I’ve found that i have a insatiable desire when it comes to things regarding the roman empire, the Victorian era and piggy backing off that the Art Nouveau movement. No exact dates, it is more the era as a whole.  But I’m fascinated by them. I love watching, hearing, seeing anything about these times. I feel if i could travel time i would gladly jump to them. I know Roman rule was ruthless and blood thirsty but they were also creative and intelligent. The ingenuity and philosophy that came from them was astounding when you truly ponder it. Knowing what I do about them I feel hopelessly jealous I wasn’t there; architecture, art, philosophy.

Ancient Roman Party

But at the same time I’m horrified  that I think I would enjoy the period because of vomitoriums, slaves and gladiators. One of the reasons I love Paris so much is because of the ancient roman architecture that infuses the city, making it absolutely beautiful to look at. I could walk the city aimlessly for days and be happy by just the buildings I see.

Ancient Roman colosseum

I often tell my husband that i should have been born in the Victorian era. I have an hourglass figure that would have been considered very desirable then. I would have filled a corset to brimming, emphasizing my rounded hips while showing off my bosom, the girls would be pushed up so high I could use them as a pillow for my chin!

Victorian era dress portrait

The diseases that make me tired often would have been fawned over passed off as a mild disposition. I would have spent my days reading on a fainting chair and entertaining my guests with cucumber sandwiches and powdered cookies. Well, all this would have only been possible if i had been born into a wealthy family or seduced a wealthy man. Which maybe would not have been that difficult with my highly prized large baby making hips and mounded bosom huh? To bad that heavier curvacious women are no longer prized by men today. There would be a lot more happy women out there if they were.


The  art nouveau movement is just wonderful. It always makes me think of the Fae, or fairies. When I imagine fantasy stories involving fae creatures, art nouveau styles always dominate my visions. In a way, they do relate. The movement “was inspired by natural forms and structures, not only in flowers and plants, but also in curved lines. Architects tried to harmonize with the natural environment. It is also considered a philosophy of design of furniture, which was designed according to the whole building and made part of ordinary life.” Simply put, I find the style beautiful, so beautiful in fact it often makes me smile when I see it. I wish there was more of it in the world. I guess deep down I’m a naturalist at heart.

Art Nouveau Mucha















Back to the point of my reincarnation topic. While I do wish that such things happened, I simply don’t believe they do. Out of courtesy for my own rule of not discussing politics and religion, I will not go into why my belief is the way it is. But I will say this, the above eras I discussed have a few things in common that make me believe I know why I love them so much. In each era there is astounding beauty in art and architecture. Not to mention that philosophy and fashion were quite extrodinary. There is a severe attraction in all forms of beauty for me and these areas particularly draw my eye back time and again. There are certainly other eras and movements that I enjoy and find great beauty in but these ones for no reason, expect for my own taste, interest me more. Therefore the reincarnation point then becomes moot once again. There are those, like my sister who would argue with me, and i welcome the opportunity.

And even after all that, the idea of my soul moving from one time to another still intrigues me. Maybe because inspiration struck me last week. It was one of those moments where you hear something that provokes a profound sense of wonder in you. Have you experienced something like that? I believe you have to be open to experience in order to find such wonders. I’m convinced of this  because for a while I shut myself off from all things creative. Holing myself up like the crab my birthright claims me to be, I am a cancer after all, and never experienced it during the time i stayed hidden. Now? Now things have begun to change. I’ve opened myself up again, horribly tired of being the coward hiding in my books of fantasy. Just so you know I will not be giving those up! But now i know i cannot solely live in them. There is a life i need to live, i cannot leave this world with out a small stamp of my existence in it.Regardless if my soul flies on with out my body when i die.

Back to the point. Now dont laugh about where my inspiration came from. Inspiration is inspiration whatever the form. I was watching the TV show Fringe, season 1, and the insanely smart father said “Myth is just an unverified fact.” A gong went off in my head and i immediately scrambled around the living room looking for something to write on, lest i forget the statement. Think about it for a minute. It really can be applied to all types of things in life. Gods and deities, cowboys and aliens, science fiction. All things in between. Now don’t get snarky about my examples, they are simply that, examples. Have your wheels begun to turn yet? Can you imagine ALL the possibilities in life if that statement were true? It could open the minds of everyone in the world causing acceptance and world peace, or world war.

This quote will stick with me for a while. Its the reason I wrote this blog. Its an idea I will ponder while i write my own fantasy novel. Maybe one day I’ll grow enough nerve to actually post pieces of it. Until then you’ll have to make due with these random ramblings my mind plays with.

Wishing you inspiration and creativity in all the little things life offers you.


Music that inspired me while i wrote today:

justin nozuka, he’s got a great voice and throws emotion around in his songs like nobody’s business. A nice break from the crap the radio plays these days.

After tonight

Save Him

Blaqk Audio, Ahhhhhh Davey Havok, need I say more? I know your as guy as a jaybird but your still dreamy. A school girl crush I can’t really seem to shake.

Stiff Kittens

Bitter for Sweet

All rights reserved on my own photos, Ancient Roman Party and Ancient Roman Colosseum.

Not your typical female

If you read my blog or know me personally you know i’m not a typical girlie girl. Dont get me wrong i love cute dresses, expensive shoes and anything sparklie but i also love cargo pants, boots and tank tops.  Thats probably a bad comparison but if i described myself i would say I’m a tomboy mixed with femininity. Others have called me bohemian or eclectic. Anything simple and beautiful makes me happy. Things with worn edges, age or craftsmanship catch my eye. But I also dont mind killing bugs or getting dirty doing yard work. Look at me this way; I can be perfectly happy out camping in the boonies with bugs and camp fires and beer or hanging out uptown in a posh restaurant with a tasty class of chardonnay.

Versatile I am.  But here are the kickers:

I like cars. Not just new fancy things that have convertible tops and v12’s. Austin martin vanquish = orgasm.

Hot Rod

i LOVE hot rods. old classic cars. original, custom, rat rod. all of it. I want one, bad. ’29 model A, ’50 merc chop top, ’60-’73 chevy nova, shelby cobra, austin healey. i could make a list a mile long. I want them all! I admit it, I must be in love or the very least heavy lust with my cars. very sad fact of my life. try buying a car when you only have 8k.  And dammit i will change my own tire and if i was totally broke i’d change my own oil. But why do it when you can pay someone?

I like alternative, punk rock and grunge but i also like classical, reggae, angry chick music and techno. My mood depicts my music but i dont discriminate unless its modern country. blah it drives me nuts. Anything acoustic is my fav.

I like action flicks. movies that have car races, sword fights, blood and gore entertain me more then romantic drama. Its the excitement of all the movement that hooks me in. Dramas have to be really good for me to enjoy them all the way through. Maybe I have a short attention span? but i like my books the same way, so what does that say?

I read comics and all things SciFi and fantasy. Romance and normal fiction rarely make my book list unless they are old classics.

I love artwork. all kinds. simple beauty by Monet and crazy psycho by Robert Williams.  I could just as easily have Daniel Merriam in my living room or Brom.

Daniel Merriam

All that matters is the beauty of the piece. I don’t discriminate on its topic. If it catches my eye and holds it causing me to stand and examine it again and again with out getting bored then I like it. The only problem I have is what other people would think when they walk into my living room and see it. I hate to admit it but those things constantly cross my mind. I have no prejudiced over the work but others will and it will reflect on me in their eyes.  It’s a constant battle of wills with myself. A topic for another day.

I have no problems with nudity or talking about sex or issues with my body.  There aren’t many topics that can make me uncomfortable. I grew up surrounded by images of naked women. Shop calendars, playboy magazines, Marylin Monroe in all her curvacious glory on the living room wall. I thought it was normal. I think it desensitized me but it also allowed me to appreciate the human body at a young age which totally allows me to appreciate beautiful women now. No, i dont swing that way but I still look and appreciate both sexes when its called for. I suppose I could of grown up with a horrible body image complex because of my exposure. Somehow thankfully, that never fully formed. Naked simply doesnt bother me. Husband you want a naked women hanging over the bed? Naissance De Venus it is.

naissance de venus

Marilyn Monroe. My pop had this in the living room in black and white

I love diamonds! I am of the feminine persuasion after all. Yet i’m always drawn to jewelry made from raw material. Grecian style jewelry from the Roman Empire are my favorite. I’m always looking up images for inspiration. Raw elements rolled into simplicity and beauty. Victorian and Art Nouveau follow next on my jewelry style love list.

I say things other people are afraid too. Lady being stupid on a flight and everyone’s obviously annoyed but wont say a word. Not me. Quiet lady, your making this flight miserable for all of us. There, done. Flight isn’t so miserable anymore. Tadaaaaaa, magic.

I’m always honest to you.  i don’t see the point in lying. It may come across as abrasive or insensitive at first if your not used to it, but i find i make better friends that way. Treat others as you would like to be treated and all that rot, you know? hmmmm maybe thats why i dont have so many friends. Still, I treasure honesty from people over positive comments people think you want to hear.

Love tattoos. I’m jealous of men and women with creamy unblemished skin because tattoos look soooo good on them. I”m covered in freckles, while cute as a little girl cause a problem when designing tats as an adult.  I want a few, although i’m so picky about my own, i can’t seem to nail down what i want next. I’m thinking an antique compass rose on my wrist…. there is always a path to take. Who needs Confucius huh?

Compass Rose


So I may not be unique but i’m not exactly a lady. I mean come on, anyone who’s eaten with me knows there is not one meal where food doesnt land in my lap or down my cleavage. But i clean up well when i try too, just dont hand me food or you’ll blow my cover.


Melancholy R Us

I’m in a funk today. Feeling extremely agitated and I cant place the reason why. It could be that funk artists of any kind find themselves in.  They think the world hates them and their muse is horrible, they’ll never make it in their field and their work is junk. The universe will swallow them hole just to rid the earth of their ineptitude and they will spend the rest of their existence  as a minion of hell as punishment of their inconvenience to man.  hmmm… yup that about sums up my mood today. Heart warming isn’t it?

Louvre Statue

Questions swirl maddening around the room, taunting me with there insistence regarding my future. What will you do? Where will you go? Are you good enough? You sure? You really think you can make money doing that? You know your not good enough right? Dont you realize your just a tad pole in an ocean full of sharks? Your an amateur at best, how do you think your gonna break into the industry? Your skills are minimal, how are you going to better them? Take classes? Where? What kind? Are you even motivated enough to make the extreme effort needed to create all the things you imagine?

I bang my head against the wall hoping to stop the butterfly on crack sensation. It doesn’t seem to work. Doubt assails me from all angles. Focusing on one thing, hell even one path, seems to be beyond me at the moment and it’s driving me mad.  I know I’m just whining but I can’t help the melancholy feeling of failure.  At 28 years old, I can’t get a handle on what road I want to take in my life right now.

Artist or analyst? Analyst is easy, that’s where my experience lies yet I’d rather be swallowed by the ground then dress in power suits and spout cost reports. I wont lie, the idea of a good position in the financial industry used to hold great appeal. When it left me or lost its appeal is anyone’s guess. I know I learned the in’s and out’s of business so that one day I would apply it to my own but i guess i failed to plan that far ahead. Now I have been flung down smack dab on that path and I still haven’t recovered from the whiplash.

The idea of having to go back to school for art, photography and writing just feels….surreal. There are still yards to go before acceptance. I chose the business path over art school 10 years ago and now here I am wanting to go back and try again. Left brain or right brain? Is there a way to mingle the two into a cohesive mix? *sigh* Years ago I thought I would have accomplished something significant in my career by now, no such luck.

So instead I  try to focus on the positives which as you can tell I’ve lost sight of today.  Its a sorry sight of my state that even the smallest of compliments have me preening under professional praise.

I preen uncontrollably when given a compliment towards either my photography or writing developments by teachers I’ve worked with these last couple of months. I seriously act like a little school girl, beaming after being praised in front of the whole class. Yeah, I was one of those, who very much liked being teacher’s pet regardless of being made fun of. My parents abused me with disgusting fish sticks and being forced to play outdoors during the Arizona summers, causing a chemical reaction in my brain causing me to be the nerd people made fun of but secretly wanted to be because of their ostentatious smarts. So sue me. I’m an introvert who had little interest in playing and a lot in books. I lived in a impoverished town, it wasn’t difficult to be one of the smart ones.  Is it any wonder I preened under a teachers praises of my work when it was noticed? But I’m guessing it’s totally coo-coo of me to do it as a grown up! How low my self esteem must have fallen.

I know my work is  low on the totem pole when it comes to photography and writing, especially writing. I lack any editorial or spelling skills. But when i get praise from an instructor i want to gloat and say “see! i’m good at this!” it gets my hopes up then i settle back into reality and remember that i’m a very small tadpole in this damn big giant sea of professionals. yipeee.

I guess i’ve never been one to lack for courage, just direction and motivation. As i often describe myself,  a hummingbird on crack, its a good thing I have diseases with side effects of massive fatigue otherwise I would never stop running around doing this, then doing that, then fixing a piece of this, spending money on that etc etc etc. New business ideas constantly pop out of my head, i have to stop and write it down otherwise I’d end up in the looney bin. I’ve been that way since i was a kid. I always bugged my dad about why he didn’t do one thing with his work while he was doing another. i think i drove him crazy because he often liked my ideas but had already started his artwork or didn’t have the time or inclination to take it farther for the customer.

So like all good students, I put all my ideas and creativity away in a box, locked tight and threw away the key. Then studied and memorized my ass off, learning all the things my professors thought I should know and got my degree.  Which of course helped about nil in my career thus far. Okay, it helped some but made no difference in my current job. I think it will help more if I pursue some type of artistic career on my own. I just have to sit down and decide what paths are worth throwing myself down on.  To reveal a secret, I’m scared. Do i have the energy and spunk to go it on my own and do some of this craziness I dream of?

Do i stick to being the calm reflective creature that I am today

or do I start training to be the battle warrior I wish I was?